


the mini-fridge feud

by terribledorkness



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, because why even try and include a new and dangerous magical threat, this is about a mini fridge and how they fall in love over it, this is how you get regina and emma to fall in love, trust me.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 14:11:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14594727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terribledorkness/pseuds/terribledorkness
Summary: In which Emma wants a mini fridge, and Regina is a stubborn child about it.Or, where Emma wants a mini fridge to further spend the Sheriff's budget on inane and useless things, and Regina valiantly fights her.So basically, where they’re both incredibly in love and don’t know how to handle it.





	the mini-fridge feud

_ November 6th 2017, day one: the beginning of the mini fridge feud  _

 

“How does one describe Storybrooke?” Snow White smiles genially at the people around her, the precarious wooden podium she is standing on teetering ever so slightly as she sweeps her hand out at the group of fifty-odd people who are gazing up at her.

 

“When I asked a few months ago for answers to this question, so that I, as the Storybrooke events manager could form a well rounded, balanced opinion on your thoughts of our community, I didn’t expect such an overwhelming amount of people to reply.” Nearby, birds twitter, as though agreeing with the woman on the stand, and Snow beams. 

 

There is a polite smattering of applause, and Snow begins again. “I’m so happy that you all have, because for me, your opinion is the most important-” 

 

Snow’s speech is cut off, abruptly, by a large crashing sound emanating out of the Mayor’s office window, ten feet away from where Snow  is standing. 

 

Snow’s smile freezes, and the wooden podium wobbles again as she cranes her head backwards, squinting. 

 

_ “No!  _ Emma  _ no! How many times do I have to-”   _

 

Snow whips her head around again, and sensing a slight loss of interest in the townspeople- all of whom are now gazing avidly at the open window where two figures, one in a red jacket and the other in a blazer are heatedly waving at each other- starts up again. 

 

“Well-” She says, loudly enough for Archie to startle slightly. “Here are just a few of the answers I got.” She shuffles the bits of papers in her hands. “From an anonymous citizen- ‘Storybrooke is my home, and I love it here-’” 

 

The rest of her sentence is cut off, however, as another crash, and the loud yelling of  _ “You evil witch I wish my parents had disemboweled you when they had the chance-”  _

 

“ _ And- _ ” Snow says, voice edging on nervousness. “And, from our very own Archie Hopper, who said-” This gains Archie’s interest, whose furrowed brow turns from the window towards Snow, and with a slight straightening of the shoulders, looks up at the podium as Snow continues. “ ‘Our community is truly one of a kind; with animals, heroes and redeemed villains, peasants and noblemen all living peacefully in our community. It is amazing how we have-” 

  
_ “Go fuck yourself, Emma Swan _ !” 

 

“ _ Oh, you only wish!”  _

 

_ “What?”  _

_   
_ _ “That was much more suggestive than I wanted it to be , so let’s get back to our less awkward insults!”  _

 

Ruby’s wolfish grin catches Snow’s eye as she murmurs to Dorothy next to her, “How much you wanna bet Regina’s just gonna push Emma up against the wall and snog the living da-” 

 

“ _ Alright! _ ” Snow says, desperation now obvious in her voice. “How about we-” 

 

_ “Don’t you dare- stop doing that thing with your face that you always do when- Regina!” _

 

_ “No! No! I will not stop  _ smirking  _ at you, you infantile dolt because  _ **_I_ ** _ have the power here and you do not so there is nothing you can do about this! HA- HA!”  _

 

Snow’s face briefly smooths and shows utter exasperation, before she clears her throat loudly and says, “From my very own husband, actually- well, David says-” She glances nervously at the window where snarling and loud pacing can be heard. “He says, together with the combined talents of Mayor Mills who has the deepest knowledge of Storybrooke, and my wife and I, we feel that we have created a safe and-” 

 

_ “Oh- oh! You twisted, evil- who the fuck lets you run this place, I mean who thought it would be a good idea for you to be Mayor you-”  _

 

Snow’s face verges on panic and she chokes on her words, desperately reaching for a different card. “ _ From Granny;  _ Your daughter owes me fifty bucks for all the bearcla-  _ oh wait  _ whoops-a-daisy that’s-” She fumbles with her notecards and they scatter around her. She falls to the ground of the podium, frantically trying to pick them up. A small snicker can be heard from the audience, before a loud  _ shhhhh  _ from everyone in the crowd stops them- the entire audience bent on hearing in on Emma and Regina’s argument. 

 

_ “Well Ms. Swan, you aren’t exactly a stellar Sheriff either, what with your laziness and greed, and tendency to get trapped in ice caves or fall through portals- no wonder the crime rate isn’t going down-”  _

 

_ “The only crime rate here is  _ **_you_ ** _ Regina, stealing opportunities like this away from people!”  _

 

_ “Oh, how original, I applaud you-”  _

 

Snow pops up again, one notecard held victoriously in her hand. “And from an anonymous citizen- ‘This town is home to a peaceful community and full of -” 

 

_ CRASH.  _

 

Snow has to duck as her daughter comes flying out of the window, landing and utterly demolishing the flowerbeds beside the podium. A glimmer of magic emits from Emma’s hands as she lands; she gets up, covered in dirt, and a twig sticks straight out from her now mess of blonde curls. 

 

“That could have killed me, Regina!” She yells at the window, shaking her fist. “Then your son would have been motherless!” 

 

“ _ What am I then, the pet dog of this family? Anyway, you are the one who wants a mini fridge that she can stock with  _ **_beer_ ** _ at the Sheriff’s station! As far as I can tell, at this rate liver poisoning is going to get to you before I can! ”  _ Comes the reply, and everyone’s heads, including Snow’s, bounce back between the muddy Emma and the open window from which Regina’s sharp voice is emanating from. 

 

“ _ Not beer,  _ Regina, how many times do I have to say it!” Emma shrieks back, and starts to stomp back across the lawn. “For my-” 

 

_ “Donuts and other grease fried junk food, I know. So instead of actually doing your job you’ll just be stuffing yourse-”  _

 

Emma lets out a frustrated scream. “Now I know why everyone called you evil!” She spits, before puffing away in a angry cloud of white smoke. 

 

Snow turns back to the people. “You know what, I’ll just email everyone these.” Everyone murmurs in assent, but a final retort from Regina is heard before everyone goes on their way-

 

_ “Good idea, Snow, instead of holding an inane meeting in front of my office. Only your daughters infantile screaming distracted me from your monotonous-”  _

 

Snow sighs. 

 

************

_ November 11th 2017, day five of the mini fridge fight  _

 

“Emma’s glaring at you.” Henry informs Regina as they sit down for lunch at Granny’s. “I think she’s trying to aggressively sip her hot cocoa, but it’s not working because she has a whipped cream mustache.” 

 

Regina glances over at the table a few feet away, and true enough, Emma slurps loudly from her mug, the whipped cream mustache trembling with the force of the sip. Banging the hot cocoa down, Emma looks victorious at having met Regina’s gaze for a moment- right before the hot cocoa splashes onto her shirt due to the force of the bang. 

 

“Need a napkin, dear?” Regina calls, enjoying Emma’s frantic jumping as she tries to cool the hot cocoa that is burning her skin. 

 

Emma just throws her a withering glare, and tosses a twenty on the table. “Goodbye,  _ Henry. _ ” She growls, before stomping out of Granny’s with an air more suited to an insulted teenager than a thirty-something sheriff. Ruby wanders over to the table, and scoops up the twenty with a chuckle. 

 

“Whatever fight is getting her to leave seventeen dollars extra for a hot cocoa, it’s good for business. Thanks, Regina.” She says, winking at the Mayor. 

 

Regina raises her cup of coffee in a salute. “Well, I doubt it will end anytime soon.” 

 

“What are you two arguing about  _ this  _ time?” Henry says, sipping his own hot cocoa with a roll of his eyes. “I swear, you two never stop.” 

 

“Everything was going fine, until Emma had to ruin it.” Regina answers. “Like usual, may I add.” 

 

“You aren’t going to tell me what it’s about?” 

 

“No, because you and your mother would probably have the same thoughts on this. You are young and too much like Emma in this matter.” Regina answers, seriously. “I will not risk losing my son over this.” 

 

Henry’s expression morphs to one of mock fear. “You haven’t….you haven’t  _ outlawed  _ video games, have you? Because, well- then yeah, I would have to side with Emma.” 

 

Regina smiles, chucking her son under the chin. “Of course not. Although that actually would be the perfect kind of revenge I’m-” 

 

“Don’t you even go there Mom.” 

 

Regina just raises an eyebrow at her son, and sips her coffee. 

 

**********

 

_ November 13th, 2017, day seven of the mini fridge spat  _

 

“Regina.” Emma nods stiffly as she enters the Mayor’s office, papers clutched tightly in hand. “How are you?” 

 

“I’m wonderful.” Regina says, and her smile gleams. “How are you, dear?” 

 

“Peachy. Here’s the budget reports for today.” The papers rustle as they slam on the glass table. “Enjoy.” 

 

There’s something nasty in what she says, and Regina cautiously picks up the reports, eyeing Emma’s back as it retreats with a bit more swagger than usual. Flipping the page open, she sighs as the first words she see are, 

 

_ MORE THAN ENOUGH MONEY LEFT FOR A MINI FRIDGE, REGINA! AND I WON’T DO THIS FUCKING REPORT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME A ONE, I PROMISE YOU!  _

 

Regina sighs through her teeth, hands clenching at the papers. “Emma?” She calls loudly, knowing that the blonde is most likely hiding outside the room. “Please come back in here.” 

 

The Sheriff re-enters, this time with more swagger to her step, and a definite smirk on her face. “Did you read my report? How did you get through it so fast?” Emma asks, tossing her blonde hair behind her shoulder with a smooth flick. “Tell me your secret to super fast reading, Regina I want to kno-” 

 

“Oh shut up.” Regina snaps, and then with a flick of her wrist, the paper disappears. “That is back on your desk.” 

 

“Did you reconsider my proposition then?” Emma says with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

 

Regina sighs. “First of all, Emma, you look ridiculous stop with the eyebrow thing.” Emma immediately stops wiggling her eyebrows, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. “Second, no, I will never, not ever, in a million years, get you a mini fridge.” 

 

Emma’s confident demeanor evaporates. “What?” She whines. “But I won’t do that report until you get me one!” 

 

“And do you really think that I will miss reading one of your poorly organised budget reports?” Regina replies, before picking up her pen and getting back to her documents. “That will be all, Sheriff Swan.” 

  
Emma’s face drops, and she swings her feet around on the polished floor. “But-” 

 

“Stop sulking and get back to work.” Regina interrupts, and there’s a definite twitch of a smile on her face that makes Emma huff and stomp out of the office. 

 

There’s a few minutes of peace before- 

 

“Now just wait a moment.” Emma says, and she rushes back into the office, finger pointed accusingly at Regina. “You owe me this.” 

 

Regina doesn’t look up from her stack of papers. “And why is that, dear?” 

 

“Because-” Emma folds her arms. “You are the reason I was placed in a moldy tree trunk at the mere age of five seconds.” 

 

“Not my fault that your parents thought it would be a good idea to send you off to an unknown land without having all the proper vaccinations first.” 

  
“You made sure I will forever be eternally scarred by having parents the same age as me.” 

 

“You should be thanking me, you don’t have to listen to your mother’s complaints of wrinkles just yet.” 

 

“You ruined my relationship with Hook.” 

 

“Was it me who decided that getting hitched to that rum soaked idiot  _ wasn’t  _ a good idea after all? I just pointed out that he  _ was  _ a rum soaked idiot.” 

  
“You drove the getaway car, then.” 

 

“You literally tumbled into the getaway car and shouted  _ go go go!”  _

 

Emma scowls and taps her chin. “You tried to poison me.” 

 

“Well then Henry got poisoned instead, so really you owe me for that one because you put our son in danger by letting him eat a potentially poisoned apple turnover.” 

 

Emma gapes at her, and then splutters, “I can’t believe you managed to twist that one around. Hey, wait a moment! I sacrificed myself for you! I became the Dark One in your place!” 

 

Regina sighs. “Yes, well-” She considers it for a moment. “That’s your own fault again. And that led to you having overdue angsty teen moments with your parents, which equaled a better family bond between you all.  _ You don’t understand me. You don’t understand what it’s like. _ ” She whines, imitating Emma. “Ugh, my family  _ suuuucks. _ ” 

 

“I did not speak like that.” Emma says with a scowl. “ I was a badass Dark One, and- Okay, how ‘bout this. I broke up with Hook two months ago and I need something that will help me rebound.” 

 

Regina tenses at the mention of Hook again. “Then go have a bad one night stand or get a haircut. A mini-fridge is hardly a way to get over Captain Guyliner.” Regina mutters. 

 

“But-” 

 

“Anyway, despite your  _ heroic actions  _ and bad breakup, none of this constitutes me allowing you to use up the Sheriff's budget to get a mini fridge.” She considers Emma for a moment. “However, because I am a good person and a generous mayor, I will allow you to buy a mini fridge for yourself. That way, everyone wins.” 

 

“Not the same thing! This way,  _ you  _ still win!” 

 

“This isn’t a competition, Emma! I am  _ graciously  _ allowing you to use the electricity plugs in the Sheriff's office for your own personal needs!”  

 

Emma’s face gradually reddens. “You owe me!” 

 

“No, I do not!” 

 

“Yes you do!” 

 

“No, I don’t!” 

 

Outside Regina’s office, her secretary sighs, and slowly places her noise cancelling headphones on. 

 

*********

 

_ November 20th, 2017, day fourteen of the mini fridge war  _

 

The entire town soon gets in on the war. Ruby begins to put up posters that read, _Vote Mini-Fridge! Help our beloved Sheriff get with the Mayor_ (Ruby insisted that she’d simply forgotten the ‘even’ with the final sentence and Emma spent five days trying to get all the posters down) while Snow could be seen furtively sneaking around town handing out flyers with negative statistics related to mini fridges. 

 

“Really Mom?” Emma says, when her mother hands her a flyer at the station. “You're taking Regina’s side?” 

 

“I don’t want you and your father constantly ruining your appetite by eating at the station.” Snow says with a shrug. “Sorry honey, but I agree with Regina on this one.” 

 

“It’s not even about that.” Emma mumbles. “I just want to- ugh, nevermind.” She then looks at the flyer. “Wait a minute, in 2015, one person for every thousand died because mini fridges fell on top of them? Is that- that’s not right.” 

 

Snow looks smug. “Well, are you going to research it to disprove me?” 

 

Emma opens her mouth to fire back an answer- and then snaps it closed. “No. Besides, handing out these flyers to people is hardly going to stop me from fighting for a mini-fridge.” She grumbles. 

 

“But it will get people on Regina’s side, and that means more people to convince you this is a bad idea.” Snow’s face takes on a disgruntled look. “Though Ruby’s posters were rather convincing. She played to everyone’s wish to see you two together-  _ dirty tactics. _ Convincing the town that it was a mini fridge that was the obstacle in the way of your eventual happiness? Genius. I never thought she would.”

 

Ignoring Emma’s indignant spluttering of,  _ we’re just friends- not even that!  _ Snow crosses the street to shove a flyer in a bewildered Archie’s hands. Emma is then promptly halted on her way to the office by a concerned Granny about the dangers of mini-fridges. 

 

Two weeks of Regina and Emma fighting over a mini fridge- and Regina and Emma haven’t spoken for one of them. Henry is dropped off at the front of Regina’s drive- every time Regina opens the door, it’s to the horrible squeal of asphalt against tires and the retreating blur that is the bright yellow of Emma’s bug. As for Regina, she’ll only talk to Emma through another person. 

 

“Snow, tell Emma to pass the mashed potatoes.” Regina asks, one night at a hastily gathered ‘family dinner’. 

 

Snow sighs. “Emma, Regina’s asking you to pass the mashed potatoes.” 

 

Emma glares at Regina. “Mom, tell Regina that she can get the mashed potatoes herself.” 

 

Snow groans. “Regina, Emma says that-” 

 

“I heard.” Regina snaps, and with a poof the mashed potatoes disappear from the one end of the table where Emma is sitting, all the way to the other end where Regina is. 

 

“Alright, both of you, enough.” David says, sternly. 

 

Regina turns to face the man moodily. Then, snapping her fingers dramatically, the mashed potatoes disappear and- 

 

“Oh, Regi- _ na! _ ” Emma shouts, as the mashed potatoes appear dumped on top of all of her food. “You know I hate mashed potatoes!” 

 

Regina just smirks. “Snow, tell your imbecilic daughter that if she does not turn in her budget report and stop this stupid war-” 

  
“Oh you’ll what?” Emma sneers, and then with a snap of her own fingers, Regina’s food is doused in gravy.    
  


“How dare you!” Regina shouts, frantically trying to save her Yorkshire pudding from succumbing to the substance. “Snow’s gravy is toxic waste, how could you do this-” Ignoring Snow’s wounded gasp, Regina snaps her fingers and the cherry pie that was sitting proudly on the counter falls onto Emma’s face, the cake crumbling around her as Emma shrieks. 

  
After that, a ‘no magic at the table’ rule is instated for family dinners. 

 

**********

  
  


_ November 23rd, day seventeen of the mini fridge grievance  _

 

Things are getting bad when Zelena finally decides to intervene. 

  
Regina wakes up one morning to find the Mayor’s office covered in ads for mini fridges. This causes her to then go on such a rant that her secretary quits, moving out to one of the log cabins in the woods- not to be seen for at least a month. However- Regina soon gets her revenge, and Emma finds her room the temperature of an ice box, which, apparently will ‘suffice for a mini fridge’ according to the snarky message written on the snow covered floor. 

 

And so, Zelena decides to intervene. 

 

That is not necessarily a good thing. 

 

She arrives at night- in a cloud of green mist, a bawling infant in her arms. 

 

“Zelena?” Regina groans, turning on the light to the bedroom. “What are you doing here?” 

  
“I have come to help.” The witch says, and snaps her fingers, a cot appearing in the corner. She places Robyn inside it, and then hops up on the bed. “I’ve been hearing some interesting….gossip.” She eyes Regina. “I heard that you and Emma are having a bit of a-  _ tiff  _ if you will- some might call it an argument but I-” 

 

“You’ve only  _ just  _ heard?” Regina says, rubbing her eyes. “Zelena- Emma and I have been fighting for over two weeks now.” 

 

“Wha-  _ what?”   _ Gaping, Zelena stumbles back. “ _ Really?”  _

  
It takes a while- but Regina then rolls her eyes. “Sarcasm. Huh. Who would have thought.” 

  
Zelena’s dumbstruck expression melts off her face, and she smirks. “Regina, I literally could hear your arguments all the way at the farmhouse, and that's a good mile away from town.” 

 

“She’s being an idiot! An utter fool- and it’s not my fault that she wants to act like a child over this.” Regina snaps, and crosses her arms sullenly. 

 

“And you two are madly in love with each other.” Zelena mumbles, before glancing up at Regina smugly. 

 

“What did you say?” Regina narrows her eyes, and now there’s budding panic in her eyes. “Wha- what did you say?” 

 

“ _ I said-”  _ Zelena clears her throat, and magic swirls in her hands, a long scroll falling to the floor. “I said, Regina Mills and Emma Swan are madly, tragically and truly in love.” She then shows the list to Regina. “Here’s a list of reasons why.” 

 

Regina’s pale at this point, and she grabs the list with shaking hands. “You’re- you’re so ridiculous someti-  _ that’s not true!  _ “ She snarls, and almost tears through the paper as her finger lands on the first bullet point. “I  _ do not  _ ogle Emma every time she’s wearing those skinny jean-  _ oh.”  _ Her expression blanks out. “Well…” She shakes her head. “I can have an appreciation of the human body, can’t I? And if Emma’s the one in the very attractive jeans then what can I say? This proves  _ nothing  _ but that I can objectively view my nemesis-” 

 

Zelena holds up a hand. “Read on, before you talk yourself to sleep on all the reasons why you aren’t in love with Emma. We’ve heard it all before.” 

 

Regina glances down at the list, discomfort and uncertainty beginning to form around her. “We?” 

 

“David, Snow, Archie, Tink, Ruby, Leroy, Granny-” 

 

“Okay okay.” Regina groans. “I’ll read this...utter nonsense.” She clears her throat, and her fingers tighten around the paper. “Regina and Emma are arguing about a mini fridge, when we all know it isn’t that.” A triumphant look slides across her face. “Aha! You’re wrong- it’s actually about a mini fridge.” She looks back at the page, and her face drops. “Oh. It’s actually about their unresolved sexual tension-” She scoffs. “Please, Emma and I do not have sexual tensi-” 

 

“One word for you, Reigna. Or maybe ten.  _ How to get the saviour to taste my forbidden fruit.”  _

 

“I never should have told you that.” Regina grumbles. “It was my favorite villainous line, not evidence of my supposed attraction to Emma.” 

 

Zelena just arches an eyebrow, and Regina rolls her eyes. “ _ Fine. Fine.  _ Maybe- and I’m saying maybe-  _ maybe _ there was some kind of,” She waves her hands around. “physical appeal to the woman when she came into town. But that was years ago and--” 

 

“Since then the sexual tension has only mounted, leaving us, the citizens of Storybrooke to deal with your antics which are just more ways for the two of you to show your love for one another.” Zelena points to a large block of letters on the end of the scroll. “Read our closing statement. Leroy was in charge of that, but he came up with something so filthy that Archie was comatose for about an hour. David thought this sounded more diplomatic.” 

 

“We, the members of Storybrooke, are fed up of your arguing, so please declare your love for one another and be done with it.” Regina reads the last block of letters, and scoffs. “David never did have much subtlety.” She sighs. “Look, Emma and I-” She hesitates, before looking at the list again. “Emma doesn’t….love me.” 

 

“AHA!” Zelena crows, pointing her finger at Regina triumphantly. “So you admit that you love her?” 

 

“No.” Regina glares at her sister, but when met with an equally as intense glare, she wilts. “Yes.” 

 

Zelena holds up her phone, and clicks the record button. “Say that once more for record. I, Regina Mills announce that I desperately want to shag Em-” 

 

Regina snaps her fingers and the phone disappears in a whirl of purple smoke. Ignoring Zelena’s outraged shriek, she sits on the bed. “Emma doesn’t love me.” She repeats again, and twists her fingers together nervously. “I’m just her friend- not even that at the moment.” She says, and hunches her shoulders. 

 

Zelena, still sullen over the loss of her phone says, “Well maybe you should consider  _ not  _ trying to deny her the simple request of a mini fridge then?” 

 

Regina groans and rolls her eyes. “God, it wasn’t even about the mini-fridge! It’s just that- Emma was talking to me about how she was _ready to move on,_ you know, after the pirate, and I just- I got so angry and- then when she asked me for a mini fridge I just…” 

 

“Denied her out of spite?” 

 

“At first, yes. But then Emma was Emma and got on my nerves so…” Regina spreads her hands sheepishly. “Here we are.” 

  
“Here we are.” Zelena echoes, a smile beginning to creep up on her face. “Well, thanks for that. Toodaloo!” 

 

“What-” 

 

Zelena disappears in a cloud of green smoke, and Regina gazes perplexed, at where Robyn lies, still fast asleep. A moment later another cloud of green smoke envelops both cot and baby, and Regina is left an empty room and the weight of saying her biggest secret out loud. 

 

***************

 

_ November 25th, day 19 of the mini fridge controversy  _

 

“Emma.” 

 

“Regina.” 

 

The two women glare at each other from across the table, the tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. Regina raises her knife threateningly, before aggressively sawing at the chicken on her plate. Emma, in return, crunches loudly on a carrot, before gulping down a glass of water and swiping at her mouth.

 

In the background, O Fortuna by Carmina Burana plays as softly as it can, Regina having _randomly_ picked the song before Emma had arrived. 

 

_ (Everyone knows, however, that whenever Emma goes for dinner at Regina’s house when they’re in the middle of a fight, Regina uses O Fortuna to set the scene. No one knows why. Henry claims it’s because she hasn’t twigged on yet that it’s the most popular song for dramatic moments in movies, and she simply thinks she’s being original.)  _

 

“Moms.” Henry sighs, exasperated, putting his cutlery down. “Can we have just  _ one  _ nice meal?” 

 

“I’m trying!” Both Regina and Emma say, before turning to glare at each other again. Regina sighs. 

 

“I am  _ trying  _ to be diplomatic here, Henry. I even cooked a roast chicken tonight, which I know your mother loves.” 

 

“Yes, but you added Snow’s gravy on top of mine!” Emma says, and waves a hand at her abandoned plate of roast chicken, and back to the assortment of raw vegetables she’s currently eating. “If there’s one thing we both agree on, it’s that Snow’s gravy-” 

 

“Is toxic waste.” Regina finishes, and then gives Emma an innocent smile. “I had two pots of gravy, one from Snow, and one made by me. I simply poured the wrong one on yours, and by the time I realised,” She gives Emma’s abandoned plate a forlorn glance. “It was just too late.” 

 

There’s a pause. O Fortuna begins again. Henry continues to eat his roast chicken. 

 

“I hate you.” Emma finally snarls, popping raw broccoli in her mouth before crunching down on it. 

 

“Okay.” Henry drops his head in his hands. “I am so fed up of this.” 

 

“What?” Regina says, and Emma looks slightly surprised.    
  
“It’s just a  _ goddamn mini fridge!”  _ Henry says. 

 

“Language, Henry!” Regina barks, as Emma says, “It’s not  _ just _ a mini fridge-” 

 

There’s a pause. 

 

“I think you two should go to couples therapy. Archie is more than willing-” 

 

“Couples therapy?” Emma splutters, and Regina flushes bright pink before looking down at her plate and muttering something in a growled tone. “Why- your mother and I- Henry we aren’t a couple!” 

 

“Oh you aren’t?” Henry blinks in a perfectly baffled manner at his two mothers, but the cherubic look of innocence no longer works on his more lean and adult face than it did with his chubby-cheeked ten year old self. “I just thought you were being very quiet about it, and that this was just a fight-” 

 

“Henry, did Zelena put you up to this, because if she did I swear to-” Regina groans, noticing the spark in her son’s eye, but Emma interrupts. 

 

“No, hang on a second, Regina.” Emma waves a finger in Regina’s face, who glares at her. “I want to hear  _ why  _ Henry would even think that- that we would be a couple. I mean, it’s ridiculous, right? Right?” A high pitched noise of laughter scratches it’s way up her throat, echoing through the dining room along the faint strains of O Fortuna which has just reached its first crescendo. 

 

Henry takes a bite of his roast chicken, chews, swallows, takes a sip of his water, wipes his mouth with his napkin. Then, he looks at his two mothers. 

 

“You guys just seem really in love. You guys have saved each other so many times, and Mom, you were the one who literally had to say something to Ma just to get her to leave her wedding, despite me and Zelena, and Gram and Gramps having dropped not so subtle hints  _ all year long  _ that perhaps Hook wasn’t the best option. Ma, you always look at Mom when she enters the room, like she’s the only one there. And, a few weeks ago, Mom let you take one of her french fries.” He looks at Emma with furrowed eyebrows. “ _ I’m  _ the only one allowed to take fries from her plate. Robin once tried, and Mom didn’t speak to him for three days.” He shrugs, looks at his plate. “Anyway. The list goes on. We have one, actually. Can I bring my plate away now, Mom?” 

 

Regina gives a garbled reply, which Henry takes as a yes, leaving his two mothers staring at one another with red faces and, for the first time in over two weeks, a lack of something to say. 

 

*************

_ November 27th, day 21 of the mini fridge aggrievance _

 

It seems as though the town is holding its breath. 

 

What for, no one knows. Only that, both Regina and Emma have seemed to come to a standstill, their constant fuming and stomping around one another having ceased, instead having turned into nervous skirting around one another at Granny’s, and wild blushing when Regina accidentally brushed Emma’s arm during lunch  _ according to Tink who is a very reliable source thank you very much.  _

 

In fact, Regina herself is holding her breath with the rest of the town, because ever since that fateful night at her house, things between her and Emma seem to have...died down. Everything-wise, that is. The arguments, their friendship- everything. Emma will barely look at her, and Regina is  _ fed up.  _

 

Because, well, after a lot of self reflection by staring out the window while listening to Adele watching raindrops slide their way down the pane, Regina has admitted to herself that,  _ is it really that bad an idea to give Emma a mini-fridge?  _

 

Regina still gets knots in her stomach thinking about it. 

And yeah, she’s also madly in love with the woman, which maybe contributed to the fact, that for the first time in history, Regina was giving in. 

 

To Emma Swan. 

 

Of all people. 

 

But the fact remained; Regina loves Emma. And Emma loves (1) mini fridge. So, Regina would do anything to stop the tension that had abruptly spilled between the two and stifled whatever ease the two still had around one another (despite the terrible arguments). 

 

All of these reasons was why Regina was currently hauling a large box to the Sheriff’s station, in fourteen degree weather.

 

“Magic-” Regina puffs when she reaches the door of the station. “Magic would have been...a great idea.” She waves her hand, and the box levitates itself through the door. Regina scowls. 

 

A quick check around the station shows that Emma is not around, and Regina sets to work. This time, magic makes things much easier, and she has the fridge set up quickly, sitting proudly on the empty table which was clearly marked,  _ where my mini fridge will go when Regina stops being an ass!  _ in thick sharpie. 

 

“So ya finally givin’ in then, huh?” A voice startles Regina, and she glances over at the holding cell to see a messy head of hair emerge from one of the cots. 

 

Will Scarlett smirks at her. “You are all she talks about. Gets quite boring, I must tell ya.” 

 

“How long have you been here?” Regina asks, mildly intrigued as to how much Emma talks about her. 

 

“Oh, I come an’ go. Bout’ six days a week.” 

 

Regina raises an eyebrow. “Well. Then you must hear a lot from Emma.” 

 

“Aye, I do.” Will says, leaning on the bars of the cell. “And she’s got it bad for you.” 

 

Regina scoffs. “No, she most definitely does not. She’s still getting over her-” She waves a hand. “Her pirate.” 

 

Will lets out a full bodied laugh, before retreating to the yellowing mattress the cell cot boasts. “And they say Emma’s obtuse. I’ll tell you what Emma’s reaction was to your very platonic gift next time we meet, ey?” 

 

Regina eyes the man cooly before nodding once, and storming out of the station. 

 

When she arrives back at her office, Regina hangs up her coat, and buries her face in her hands for a quick second.  _ Fuck, fuck fuck.  _ Of course she was in love with Emma Swan but who on earth would ever think that Emma Swan, the Saviour, would be in love with her? 

 

She wasn’t going to take the word of a ratty pick-pocket, that was for sure. 

 

Regina approaches her desk, resigning herself to putting her miseries out of her head for the time being, resolving that she will get a good amount of work done instead. However, some new papers sit on her desk, and with a frown Regina picks them up. 

 

It’s Emma’s long overdue budget report. 

 

All neatly filled in, correctly, for once, and at the end, there’s a note. 

 

_ I’m sorry for acting like a child.  _

 

Huh. 

 

Before Regina can ponder on whether this means that maybe she  _ did  _ win their argument after all, the door flies open, and then bangs shut with equal gusto. And there, stands Emma, chest heaving, and pink cheeks that can only come from having run a great distance in cold weather. 

 

“You- you-” 

 

Regina waves the budget report around. “You did this...correctly.” 

 

“You got me a mini-fridge.” 

 

The both beam at each other for one moment, before realising what they are doing, and dropping their smiles. 

 

“So….are we good again?” Emma asks cautiously, approaching the desk in front of which Regina is standing, still holding the budget report. “I just realised that- well for Henry’s sake- we shouldn’t be-” She bites her lip. “Fuck.” 

 

“I- Emma-” Regina says, and to her consternation, realises that her voice is breathless. Her fingers curls tightly around the edge of her desk, as though to ground herself, before she says, “Of course we are good again. We- we will always be good.” 

 

“Good.”

 

“Yes. Good.” 

 

Emma nods, and then smiles at her. “You got me a mini-fridge.” 

 

“Yes, yes I did.” 

Emma grins even wider, and turns around, walking towards the door. Then, at the last moment, she spins around again. “Oh, you know what? Fuck it.” Then races back to Regina, and before the other woman can even react, Emma’s lips are on hers, and  _ oh.  _

 

Emma’s lips are chapped, and their noses bump against one another, but Regina feels something in her soul become lighter, and the kiss deepens, the world fading away. She can feel a smile curving up Emma’s lips, and responds in kind, before the two of them are grinning so hard that they have to break the kiss. 

 

Emma’s hands are now curled on Regina’s hips, and Regina’s hands are looped around her neck, both of them breathless and  _ grinning, grinning grinning.  _

 

“So.” Regina says. 

  
“So.” Emma replies, before kissing Regina quickly again. Pulling away, she says, “This means Henry was right, huh.” 

 

“This means the whole of Storybrooke was right, dear.” Regina corrects dryly, before horror overcomes her face. “Oh, god, this means  _ your mother was right. _ ” 

 

“Going to give up on us already because Snow White was right about something for once?” Emma teases, and Regina shakes her head, still smiling. 

 

“I got you a mini fridge. How did you- why did you-” 

 

Emma shrugs. “I figured, at this point, what was the harm? It seemed like a romantic gesture so...I just decided to take the plunge.” 

 

Regina replies, rolling her eyes. “We live in a town full of the most famous storybook characters of all time, and our great, epic story is-” She shakes her head fondly. “We realised our feelings for one another through a  _ mini fridge. _ ” 

 

Emma just smiles at her. “I like it. And, you know, when I reached that door, I said to myself, Emma Swan. You can either go the long route and wait for some new threat to endanger Regina’s life and make some romantic profession of your love while throwing yourself headlong into danger, or, you can just take a stupid mini fridge fight and turn it into...something great. And I think this is turning out to be pretty great already.” 

 

Regina laughs, and it’s clear, and bright. “Love, huh?” 

 

Emma shrugs. “Love. It’s okay if you aren’t there yet, but I’ve been kind of crazy about you for a long time and-” 

 

“No….no I’m there.” Regina says. 

  
“Oh.” Emma says, and that’s all that needs to be said. 

 

Regina smiles, and leans forward again. She’s completely changed her outlook on mini fridges now. They are godsend, a gift to Earth. In fact, it might be rather useful if she got one for her office…..

  
  


**The End.**

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I....don't know where this came from. Probably after staring at my own mini fridge for hours on end trying to come up with something to write. Yeah. Anyway, I hope everyone finds love over a mini fridge, they really are wonderful. So useful.


End file.
